


Impossible

by Noapte



Category: Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Oral Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:31:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noapte/pseuds/Noapte
Summary: After he raped her and forced her to be his mate, Steeljaw starts to feel guilty for his actions, but will Strongarm ever forgive him?





	1. You're mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is a sequel to "If Steeljaw became Lord..." by AnnaCroft7. I hope you like it. ^^
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/86827766-if-steeljaw-became-lord

She couldn't sleep. Not beside the monster who just raped her without mercy and ruined her life. Her valve still hurts horrible. She could still feel him inside her, thrusting into her, hurting her. She begged him to stop, but he just didn't listen to her. He took her virginity, the most precious thing she had! She wanted to give it to the mech she would really love and mate with. She would have never thought this would happen. Having sex with a wolf-con means that you'll be his mate forever, until one of you dies. And here she is now. In his arms, forced to stay and sleep with him. Her optics were full of tears, and the cuffs on her wrists were too tight, her wrists were bleeding. Not too bad but it still hurts. She couldn't even look at him. She hated him, but knew that she would never be free again. Is that her destiny?

"What have I done to deserve this?" she whispered.

A silver devil. That's what he is. Or what she thinks he is.. He held her close to his body, his tail wrapped around her like a shield, as if he was protecting her. From who? From himself? She could hear his breath. It was warm and she felt.. confortable with it against her neck, warming her. NO!!

"He raped me. He hurted me." she hissed, her optics full of rage and pain. "I hate you." she whispered, fearing of what would happen if she wakes him up. What he will do? He will rape her? Oh, wait. He already did it, and it was horrible. He didn't want her to feel any pleasure, she knew that. She shuddered when she remembered his moans as he thrusted into her valve roughly. Her pain was pleasure for him. How could he? 

___________________________________________

Strongarm managed to have some recharge before the sun would rise and she would have to start her new misserable life. Steeljaw woke up with a grunt, slowly opening his eyes. He remembered everything. How he had her at his mercy. How her tight valve was clenching around his spike, giving him the pleasure he was looking for. What a beautiful sight. The femme he had his optics on for so much time is finally his, and his alone. He smirked and nuzzled her shortly, than looked at her with a big grin on his face. He showed his fangs and his golden optics were full of pride. What a surprise..

"Good morning Sweetspark." he grinned and moved his hand along her back, gently stroking it. "Did you sleep well?"

"What do you thing, brute!!?"

"Aaw, don't be like this. It's not so bad. As long as you're mine, no one will ever dare to hurt or touch you." 

"Should I be happy now?? I've been forced to mate with you, the most dangerous con around! How do you think I'm feeling right now??! My valve hurts and my wrists are bleeding. And all because of you, sick fragger!" she shouted at him while trying to free herself and punch him. Oh, how she wanted to see him dead right now!

"You know I won't free you, especially in your current state." he stated.

"Why don't you just kill me??!"

"I can't do this. I would have done this if I wanted to, but I just can't. I don't know why, but I feel this is the right way for us."

"There is no us!" she screamed, her optics wet again.

His expression softened as he released her wrists and grabbed them to keep her still as he started kissing her neck.

"Shh.. Don't be like that. You should be greateful you're alive." he looked at her with a smirk.

"Please, let me go. I don't want this. I don't want to be your mate.." she said as tears started rolling down on her face.

He gently kissed them away and moved closer so she had her head rested on his chest.

"You know I can't do this since you are my mate now. You'll learn to be a decepticon."

"Never."

"Yes, you will. And don't think I'll let your actions unpunished." he growled.

"Then punish me. You can't hurt me anymore. I'm broken. And frag you, it hurts so bad!" she whined.

"Then let's take care of this." he said as he gets up and starts looking for something. Strongarm just stood there, wondering what he's going to do next. He finally found what he wanted. Some kind of oil. 

"Open your legs." he ordered as he moved to sit on his knees in front of her.

"No. Don't dare to touch my valve! What do you even want to do?" she didn't trust him and she never will. Not after what he has done to her.

"You said it hurts. This oil will stop the pain, but only if you let me help you."

"I can do it myself, thank you." she leaned to grab it, but Steeljaw had other plans.

"No. I want you to trust me. I won't hurt you." he put oil on his two fingers and tried to get between her legs.

"How can I trust you? You caused this pain after all!"

"And now I want to help you and I won't give up!"

"Then you shouldn't have been so rough! I told you to stop, but you didn't listen!"

He growled, wich made her feel scared.

"I don't regret it. But if you want to feel better, open your legs and trust me."

"F-Fine.." she sighed and did how she was told.

He gently started to massage the folds, moving in slow circles. They were full of cuts, and he didn't want to make her feel more pain. He stroked them with his claws, suprisingly not hearing any sound of discomfort from her. Slowly, he moved towards the no more virgin valve's entrance, healing the cuts with the oil. He didn't push inside, just massaged them. The pain slowly started go away. Strongarm sighed and had to fight the moans, because the fragger was pressing agains her nodes, making her frame heat up and produce some lubricant. She hated this. Steeljaw looked at her with a smirk and pressed harder on her anterior node, earning a sweet moan from his mate. Gently, he pushed his digits inside, moving them around slowly so he could heal her valve without hurting her. She bit her lip and unconsciously spread her legs more, looking away so he couldn't see her expression. It was so hard to keep quiet when her valve was intentionally stimulated. More lubricant started to come out on his hand, making him smirk. He pushed his fingers deeper, then started thrusting them in and out. He wanted to hear moans this time, not screams.

"Ughh.. What..What are you doing..? Stop!" she spoke between muffled moans.

 

"A little pleasure won't hurt. Relax and let me take care of you. And don't tell me you don't like it." he kept hitting her sweet spot, making her cover her mouth with her hands to muffle her moans.

 

Steeljaw adjusted his position so he was staying on his stomach and grabbed her legs, wrapping them around his neck.

 

"Don't fight it." he whispered as he started rolling his glossa around her anterior node, gently bitting on it. It was too much. She uncovered her mouth and let out a big moan, then grabbed the sides of the berth with her hands for support. She knew it was unwise to fight him, but she didn't want him to touch her. She didn't meant to, but her moans were encouraging him even more. He speeded his thrusts and took her anterior node into his mouth, determinated to give her more pleasure. Maybe this way she would trust him more? He doubted it, but it doesn't hurt to try. And he loved her sweet moans.

 

"S-Steeljaw.. Please, stop! I don't want this! Let my valve alone, the oil helped. You don't have to do this!" her words came out like moans.

 

He wasn't listening to her. No matter how manny times she begged, he will make her overload.

"I told you to not fight me. Maybe after this you can make me overload as well.." he muttered between licks and sucks on her valve.

 

"No.. I hate you!" she screamed at him as he pushed his fingers out and shoved his glossa inside her wet valve. Without hesitation he begun to slide it in and out of her. He captured the folds with his mouth, moving his tongue across them as if he was kissing her. His lips continued sucking them as he pushed his glossa inside again, feeling the hot walls clenching around it as her overload was approaching.

 

"Mhmm.. Ohh.. Hurry up.. I want this to end as soon as possible." she closed her eyes and moaned loudly.

He growled and grabbed her aft, squeezing it hard as he sucked harder on her folds, still thrusting his glossa inside her. Quickly, he replaced it with his fingers. The overload was close. He knew that. He looked at her with a big smirk, thrusting once as deep as he could, making her scream and arch her back in pleasure, the overload coming upon her like a thunder. She couldn't even look at him. He enjoyed seeing her like this. So vulnerable. He pulled his fingers out and begun to lick them clean, wagging his tail at the taste.

"You're so sweet." he purred and grabbed her helm, forcing her to look at him.

"Did you like that?"

She didn't respond. He growled and moved between her legs again, rubbing his interface panel against her exposed valve.

"N-No! Because you forced yourself on me! You think if you make me overload I will forgive you!??!" she snarled, her optics burning with hate.

"You'll learn to enjoy what I can do to you. That was nothing Sweetspark."

"Don't call me that!"

"Anyway, if you're not satisfied, I can shove my spike into you anytime instead of my glossa. Your words are just exciting me, and I don't know if I can control myself. Right now, I just want to fuck you so bad, but I want to make you see that I'm doing this for your good."

"Hmphh! Yeah, and I am supposed to believe that??! You raped me! There is no way I will enjoy your sick games, and I would have never mated with you, fragging decepticon!" her words were full of venom.

He growled and turned her around so she had her back at him. He grabbed her hands and crossed them behind her back as he opened his interface panel. His spike came out fully erect and ready to be shoved into her valve.

"I wanted to be nice for your sake, but it seems you just don't want to listen. Maybe a good frag will teach you.." he was getting ready to enter her when he heard her sobbing.

"No. Please.. I'll do as you say, just please don't do that again. It will hurt just like the last time!" she could feel tears on her cheeks, but she didn't care.

Steeljaw's growls softened and he released her, gently turning her on her back and wrapping his hands around her.

"I don't want you to be afraid of me." he whispered as he nuzzled her neck.

"How can I not be afraid of you after what you did to me?" she sobbed into his chest.

"I'm your mate. I don't want to hurt you." he tried to comfort her by gently stroking her door wings. He knew how sensitive they were. 

"You already have."

His spark started to break at her words. What was happening? He never felt like this!

"What are you doing to me??!" he growled at her.

"What?" she was confused.

"This! Why am I feeling bad? Why do I have this feeling in my spark? I hate it!"

"Maybe it is guilt?" she guessed rolling her optics.

"No. I don't feel guilty for anything." his voice was cold, even though his golden optics looked scared.

"Then there is no hope for you." she whispered, slowly starting to fall into recharge.

Steeljaw just looked at her. How could a femme have this effect on him? No.

"She can't change me." he decided and wrapped his hands around her, unconsciously kissing her helm. He couldn't sleep. He just remained silent and was thinking about what happend.


	2. More than meets the eye

Dirty and in pain. That's how she was feeling all the time. The shining of the sun came through the window, warming her face and making her wake up. Of course, she still didn't have her armor back on. That fragger enjoyed the sight of her naked body too much to give it back to her. And she hated him for this. She didn't want him to see her like this, completely exposed. That way it was very easy for him to touch her whenever he wanted. If she would wear her armor, he woukd have to rip it off himself. And then it hit her. She remembered what he did earlier. He used his mouth to give her unwanted pleasure. Not even pleasure. It was just the normal reaction of her body. She would never enjoy his touches, even thought they were warm, he felt cold. Ooh, how she hated it all! The thought alone of him touching her again made her expression change from scared to disgusted. Her entire body shivered. Closing her eyes, she hugged her pillow and burried herself under the soft and warm blankets. His berth was nice, and the softness around her felt rather pleasent. At least she was alone. For now. Altough he wasn't there with his arms wrapped around her, as if claiming her as his, she still felt incredibly scared. The trauma of being raped and forced to be someone's mate would never heal, and she knew it. The sound of the door opening made her shiver, knowing exactely who it was. She didn't need to look, she felt those cold golden eyes staring at her. Then a rough chuckle and a hand on her cheek. Groaning, she slapped it away.

"Don't touch me monster." she warned through girtted teeth.

He didn't even feel the pain. He couldn't even feel it anymore, he already felt it all, but she didn't need to know that. The past is the past, even thought he could still feel the shadow of the pain, it will be gone when the time comes. Shaking his helm to help it go away, he looked back at her with a fake smile.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. I already told you. Don't fight me and I'll be gentle with you." he was speaking the truth, but she just didn't want to hear anything of what he has to tell. But in time, she would learn to love and reaspect him, even thought it may take a lot of time and punishments, he will make her beg for him.

The only thing he didn't know is, she would not beg him to frag her. She would beg him to stay alive and don't leave her. What a beautiful pain they are about to go through.. and none of them knew it.

"I hope you slept well and didn't have nightmares." he grinned at her.

"I'm living a nightmare right now." she sighed and looked away from him, ready to punch him if he tries anything.

"Don't say that. You'll see how much you'll love the life beside me." his voice was soft, but she knew the truth behind it.

He sat up and brought a cube of energon. He already had his and now it's time for her to refuel. 

"I think you're hungry. Come and take it." he offered, an idea coming in his mind.

"Is it a tick? Is it poisoned or you put drugs in it? If so, I don't want it. You can drink it yourself." he brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them, hiding a sob.

"It's just normal energon. It's not poisoned or something. If you want, I can prove it to you. Look." he took a sip and smiled at her.

"See? Everything is alright." he sit on the berth next to her, and whispered into her audio receptor.

"Or maybe you want a little morning sex first?" he purred, making her snap out of her thoughts and glare at him.

"Don't dare to touch me! Fine, I'll take the energon." she moved to grab it but he was faster.

"Not yet. If you want it, you must do something." he smirked and waved the cube in front of her.

"What you want me to do? If you want me to pleasure you, forget it."

He chuckled and burried his face into her neck. 

"No. I want a kiss." 

She didn't expect that.

"No. I don't want to even look at you. You'll have to force me." she said uninterested.

"If I'll have to force you then you'll not get any energon. A kiss, that's all I want." *for now* he thought on the inside. "I want to feel your soft lips against mine." he purred, giving her neck a long lick.

Afraid of what would happen if she doesn't do what he says, she mentally hit herself and closed her eyes, quickly pressing her lips against his then pulled away wearing a disgusted expression.

"What was that." he spoke in a low voice and growled.

"A kiss. Wasn't that what you wanted?" 

"That was just a touch of lips. I want a real kiss. Do it with passion, bite me! Unless you want to use your mouth somewhere else.." his optics were glowing with desire.

She hated herself for doing that, but she really wanted that energon. She hadn't had any for almost two days. Taking a deep breath, she wrapped her hands around his neck and captured his lips in a rough and passionate kiss. It still was full of hate. He pulled her close and moaned as he felt her glossa licking his lips, asking to enter. He opened his mouth and pushed his glossa inside her mouth as well, fighting for dominance. His hands were wondering all over her body, making her shiver as he grabbed her aft and pulled her on his lap, rubbing his interface panel against her valve. She didn't like what he was doing. She bit his lip hard, drawing some energon and licked it. That only made him purr and kiss her with more force and passion. She couldn't stop herself from moaning as he moved his hands towards her exposed breasts and started massasing them, loving each sweet sound she was making. She didn't want to feel his touch, she just wanted the energon. But it felt so good! She hated him, that was sure, but now she hated even herself. He moaned into the kiss and put his hand on the back of her helm, pulling her closer as their glossa were tasting each other's mouth. Realising that she was going too far, she slowly pulled away and looked at him, breathing hard. 

"I hate you." she whispered, resting her head on his chest. She could feel his passion, his desire. She listened to his spark beating, surprisingly calming herself.

"Can I have my energon now?" she asked looking at him with pleading blue optics.

"Of course Sweetspark." he smiled and handed her the energon cube, smirking when she put a finger on his nose and pushed him on his back.

"Don't get used to it." she growled and starts drinking, then put it on the table, annoyed by his stare.

"Why are you smirking?" 

He wrapped his tail around her hand and pulled her on top of him then wrapped his hands around her waist, keeping her still. 

"I enjoyed the kiss. Now, I would like to have some fun with you. You pushed me away everytime I tried to touch you." he opened his interface panel, letting his hard spike rub against her stomach plates. 

She shivered and tried to get away from him but it was useless. He had a too tight grip on her.

"Don't dare! I kissed you, but interfacing with you is something else! I don't want to be here, I don't want you to touch me!" she yelled at him, wanting to kill him so bad for what he did to her.

"We are mates now. Having sex should be something normal for us, just relax and let me pleasure you Sweetspark." he tried to keep himself calm and not just jump on her and frag her until she wouldn't be able to walk. He remembered her words and how her valve looked after he raped her. He didn't want to see her like this again, but wanted to frag her too! He grabbed her hands and rised them above her head, kissing her neck. She unconsciously leaned her helm to the side and moaned, making him smirk and pull away.

"You like it, don't try to deny it. Just give up and let me in. You'll love it, I assure you." he purred and positioned himself betweed her legs with his spike ready to penetrate. He just needed her to relax a little and understand that he didn't want to hurt her.

"How can I enjoy your touches!??! You raped me in a brutal way. You didn't listen when I told you it hurts, you cared only about your own pleasure! My first time was with a brute, and now you're expecting me to trust you and believe that you'll be gentle? Keep dreaming!" she screamed, her entire body shaking in fear and disgust.

"It's true, I wasn't as gentle as I should have been with a virgin. But now I'm trying to make the things right and help you see that I'm not so bad! I want to pleasure you, but you just don't let me to!" 

"You shouldn't have raped me! I didn't want to be your mate and now I can't do anything about it! You're a monster and I'll never be able to love you! Never! Cause there's no ligh in your spark and your acting so cold!" 

"That is enough!" he yelled as he pushed his spike into her and begun thrusting hard, not caring at all if he's hurting her.

"You don't know anything about me, and yet you judge me! You don't even know what I've been through and how many times I wished I would just die and escape from this pain!" slowly, his growls softened and his thrusts became more gentle.

"You're right, I don't know. But raping me isn't a way to heal yourself!" 

He stopped thrusting and burried his face into her neck. She sighed, then her eyes widened as she heard him starting to sob. He nuzzled her helm and started to cry, keeping his eyes tightly closed. He didn't let anyone see him like this until now, but he just couldn't help it. He needed to cry sometimes, and now he was crying in front of the femme he raped and caused so much pain. He felt that feeling inside his spark and realised that her words.. were true. It was guilt.

"I'm sorry." he chocked and pulled out, gently caressing her cheek. "I apologise for everything. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Please, forgive me!" he sobbed and cried into her neck.

She didn't know what to say. She was just standing there, with him on top of her. She let out a big sigh and slowly moved a hand to stroke his helm.

"Tell me what happend. Why are you doing this? What made you become a decepticon?" she looked at him with a sad expression.

He forced himself to stop crying and kissed her gently, then opened his mouth to speak. She needed to know his story.

....................................................................


	3. Pain and forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm a so horrible person, I'm gonna make Steely suffer for what he did. I hope you enjoy the chapter. :3

The poor cub begged, but he just wouldn't stop. 

"No, father! Please, stop!!" tears were rolling down on his cheeks as that powerful claw hit him again, causing him to fly into the wall, pain rushing through his entire body. His fragile frame was covered in bloody wounds and he could barely stand on his pedes. Being afraid of what would happen if he would show more weakness, he looked up at the black devil of metal. He was shaking in fear, but he knew it wouldn't stop his father's rage. It was useless to fight him or even beg. Once he starts taking his fury on you, he wouldn't stop before you barely breath or even live.

"Patethic." he hissed and grabbed his son by the throat, rising him using one claw.

"You're nothing but a mistake. You're life means nothing for us. How can you even call yourself a decepticon!?!" and he squeezed his frame tight, almost choking the little cub.

"D-Dad.. I'm sorry.. I know I should be without mercy like you, but.. I'm not like you!" he tried to convince the brute, his teary optics begging for help.

"Enough! You must be cruel, powerful and blood thirsty!" he shouted as he dropped him on the floor, glaring and showing his sharp fangs.

"And that's all that you're not. What are you gonna do, sparkling? Will you beg?! Will you cry?!"

Steeljaw jumped at his sire's shouting. Trembling, he brought his knees up to his tiny chest and hugged them, crying silently.

"Darksoul.. Please.. I've never asked to be your son. I've never asked to be a decepticon." his voice was shaking and he felt weak and small.

"And you'll never be like us! You're just like those patethic autobots. You're not my son." that deep voice was making him even more scared.

"Patethic dog!!" he shouted as he striked his cub hard in the chest with his pede, making his mouth fill with energon and fall to the ground, holding his chest in pain.

With a last glare, he left the room and locked the door, leaving his only remained son alone in his agony.

"I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry for not being the son you and mom wanted." he whispered and limped towards his cold berth.

___________________________________________

"I was never able to get his words out of my head." he sighed and looked away, not wanting her to see his sadness.

Strongarm could only stare at him with a shocked expression. She moved a hand to stroke his cheek, making him look at her. She saw tears in his optics, so she wipped them, earning a sad smile from him.

"But I think I demonstrated that I'm a decepticon. A horrible one. I can't fix what I have done, and all I can say is how sorry I am. He was right.. I'm just a mistake." he sighed, unsure if he should tell the rest of his story. He didn't need to justify his acticons in front of anyone, but she is his mate. 

"I didn't know about that. Everyone has a past and sometimes, it leads us to become what we are today." she whispered and got out from underneath him, then rested her head on his chest, waiting to hear the rest.

He sighed and remembered other things from his past. He knew that by recalling them, he would just feel the pain again, but does it really matter?

___________________________________________

Everything was in fire. Everything he knew was gone. His home. His family. Everything. The autobot forces attacked the pack. They killed them all, sparklings and adults alike. Laying half-dead on the cold floor, a mother was helding her cub in her bleeding arms. Her blue optics were full of tears and pain. With all her strength she protected her only remained son. Those basters killed her other two without mercy. Their cries still echoed through her audio receptors, but she had to remain strong for her son. She knew death was near. Barely finding her voice through sobs, she spoke in a weak voice.

"Steeljaw. My light.. You must leave me. Run away and never return.."

"No mom! I don't let you here!" the cub's eyes were glowing in fear as he rested his trembling frame against his mother.

"You don't have any choice. I am without power. I can't fight anymore. If I loose you I'll never be able to forgive myself. Go. You're not safe here.." she whispered through gritted dentas. The pain caused by her wounds were slowly taking her life. 

"I love you.." he nuzzled her head in her last moments of life.

"I love you too." with that, she closed her eyes for the last time.

The poor cub burst in tears, unable to stop his sobbed howl. He couldn't do anything to save her, and now she's gone. Forever.

The silence has been broken by sounds of weapons. They were there. Steeljaw turned to leave, but before that, he kissed his mother's helm.

"It's not over.. They will pay with their damned sparks. They have stole everything from me. They deserve to die!!" he screamed on the inside.

___________________________________________

"My spark has been poisoned with hate. After she died, they managed to catch me and made me slave. I was forced to fight for my life and with each won fight, my thirst for revenge became stronger. I've been blinded by rage, and now.. Look at me. I'm a monster." he sobbed as tears were rolling down on his cheeks. 

He burried his face into her neck, letting her stroke him behind his ears. It was just a little comfort, but it didn't stop the guilt from killing him in the inside. 

"Shh.. It passed. Even if you can't see her, she's with you. I know that. And the wounds healed over time." she whispered, her hate for him starting to go away after what he told her.

"Yes. But the scars are still there. They will never leave me alone. Sometimes, I wonder why I didn't comit suicide yet.." 

Her eyes widened at this. Sure, he raped and hurted her in the most brutal way possible, but to become a monster, you must be tortured by a monster yourself. That made her feel sorry for him, and even after all he did to her, she still felt a spark of hope. Maybe he can change? 

"Don't speak like this. Running from the pain won't stop it. I know it's hard to forgive the ones who took everything from you, but if I can forgive you.. Can you forgive yourself?"

At her words he started crying harder, hugging her. 

"I deserve to die. I'm weak. There is no place for me in this world." he sighed as he sat up and begun walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked curious.

"Anywhere I can be away from you so I wouldn't hurt you anymore."

"No. Stay here. We have too much to talk about." she said in a soft tone. It almost made him fall on his knees.

"How can you forgive me? Haven't I caused you enough pain already?" his voice was cold and sad.

She didn't say anything. She just walks towards him, grabs his hand and pulls him on the berth, getting on top of him.

"And if you run from me, how can you prove that you don't want to hurt me? You said that you can't kill me. Why?"

Their optics were locked together.

"Because I've been starting to have feelings for you. I don't know how to explain it but.. I just care about you and I wanted you to be my mate. Now I realise that I souldn't have made you my mate by force. I should have made you fall in love with me." he sighed.

"True, but that doesn't mean you can't do it eventually. There's a way to show me how much you really care about me." she whispered in a seductive tone. She wouldn't admit it, but everytime he is around, she feels horny. How she hates herself for this..

"How?" he had no idea.

"You said you wanted to pleasure me. Now it's your chance. But do it with love and passion, not brutally like when you.."

"I apologise. You really want to do it?" he asked with a little hesitation.

When she nodded, he leaned closer to kiss her passionately, grabbing the blankets to cover themselves. The night just started.


	4. You're forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strongarm really wants to give him a chance, but will Steeljaw ever forgive himself?

Her soft lips felt like a delight he'll never deserve. Even thought he knew he should just leave and not cause her any harm, he felt weak and at her mercy. He hurted her the way others were hurting him, but she didn't need to know his whole story. She wouldn't care, would she? No one ever truly cared about him, and now it was too late for the hope to remain alive. He died on the inside already, and no forgiveness or affection will ever make him smile from happiness. He faked every smile and smirk, only to cover his still opened wounds. And those wounds would never heal. It is too late, but.. With a passionate moan she pushed him on his back, her hands on each side of his helm. He should push her away and let her kill him, whatever would give him the punishment he deserved is enough.

"Do you want this?" it's all she said.

"My body wants it. My spark just wants to die" he whispered and burried his face into her neck, ears low and voice shaking. He felt scared. Really scared.

"You really regret it that much?" she asked softly, grabbing the blankets and covering themselves better. 

He couldn't look at her as he nodded, only to earn a soft kiss on his lips. He felt disgusted with himself.

"How can you even look at me? How can you even think to forgive me when I deserve to die? I'm not worthy of your touches, I'm just a bastard.. A good for nothing damned con.. Why don't you just kil-" he didn't have the chance to finish his sentence as she put a finger on his lips. 

"Those aren't your words. They are cold and full of hate for yourself. What happend happend. I still hate you, but how can I not care about you when I know what you've been through. True, it was a mistake, a big mistake. But.." she sighed and looked at him straight in the optics "What if you wouldn't have done that? Then I woldn't have ever find out about your past. The guild is still there, but you paid for your actions before even doing what you did."

He stared up at her with wide optics. He didn't know how and didn't want to believe, but her words were true. 

"You're forgiven." she whispered and rolled them over so he was now on top of her. With optics full of tears he let his actions speak in his name. Getting between her legs he pressed his lips against hers, giving her a long and passionate kiss. He hated himself, but she's offering her forgiveness to him. He just had to accept it. Moaning into the kiss he pushed his glossa in her mouth and wrapped it around hers as their kiss became a mix of pain, regret and hope for something he would have never imagined he would do: forgive himself. She put a servo behind his helm and deepened the kiss, slowly moving her hand across his chest armor. He noticed what she was doing and decided to play by her rules. For now. She slowly took off his armor, her hands caressing his body. She was already naked, so it wasn't fair for him to wear his armor. When her hand arrived to his interface panel, he pulled away and looked at her with and fake grin.

"Not yet. I'm gonna let you enjoy this as much as possible before we do it for real. Now, relax and lay down on your back." he said as he got between her legs once again. With a purr he begun stroking her leg while licking along it, from her knee towards her exposed valve. She moaned and leaned into the pillow, enjoying each soft sensation that was running through her body. His hot glossa went to lick and press soft kisses above her clitoral sensor, smiling when her body reacted. The first time he did it, she begged him to stop. He groaned and tried to ignore those memories. Now he had the chance to pleasure her like he wanted when she managed to beat him at the Srapyard. He wouldn't admit this to anyone, but he enjoyed when she was punching him. It was kind of hot, beaten by a girl. 

His glossa licked its way down to her clit, gently sucking on it while his fingers went towards her wet valve, slowly stroking it. 

"Steely.." she moaned out, spreading her legs for more.

He purred and inserted two fingers inside, still licking her clit. He pushed them as deep as they could go, dently parting the lips to have a look at her vagina. She gasped softly as she felt her valve being stretched by his claws, but she didn't feel any pain, not when he was careful. He saw no cuts or bleeding wounds, thanks to that oil he applied on the walls of her valve. It really helped, and now he was sure he could pleasure her without hurting her. Lubricand started to came out, at least his touches were turning her on. She looked down at him and moved a hand to stroke his audio receptors, earning a soft and warm glossa shoved deep inside her. She threw her head back with a moan, encouraging him to do more. He gently begun sliding his tongue inside her, reaching her nodes and making her interface protocols come to life from the stimulation. The taste of her sweet fluids made him purr and wag his tail in excitement as he went deeper inside her, lubicant coming out on his glossa. He grabbed her legs and spread them wide to have complete acces to her port. His lips were sucking on her clit, licking off her juices. He moaned inside her valve, gently bitting on her clit before using his sharp teeth to massage the lips. He pushed his glossa out and begun rolling it across the folds, more lubricant coming out. 

"S-Steeljaw.. Ohh, I'm soo close.. Don't stop!" she moaned in pleasure. The sight of him between her legs, using his mouth to make her overload was enough to push her on the edge. 

He pushed in one last time before hearing her screams of pleasure as the overload came over her, her entire body shaking. When she opened her eyes, he was hard breathing and his mouth was still pressed against her valve, glossa still inside her. With a sigh he pulled away, making her moan when his tongue slided out, a thin trail of oral fluid after extraction. 

"Did you enjoy it?" he smiled seductively, and moved to lay on his side.

She chuckled "Better than a rape." she wrapped a hand around his body while the other one was rubbing at his panel, wanting to take it off. He grabbed her hand and send a signal to open his interface panel, though just a bit. He put their hands inside, letting her feel his cord against her fingers. He moved his other hand along her arm, spreading his legs and unconsciously wrapping his tail around himself. 

"Why are you hesitating?" he rised an optic ridge and grabbed his tail, wrapping it around herself.

"Hm? Didn't know it happend. I guess.. I'm still hesitating a bit. I just don't want to hurt you.." he sighed and hugged her, softly kissing her neck.

"I trust you Steeljaw. You don't have to worry about me. As long as you're gentle everything will be fine." she smiled and turned to lay on her side, her back facing him. 

He smiled at her words and put a hand over her waist, slowly moving towards her leg. Gently, he rised it over his waist and hugged her waist from behind as his interface panel finally opened and his spike came out ready to enter her. He positioned the tip towards her valve and with a moan, he pushed it inside in a single thrust. She had to bite her lip and grab the covers to remain still and not scream. His spike was huge, and the pain was expected. In an attempt to comfort her, he started massaging her breasts with his claw, gently squeezing them. He loved her moans and pressed his lips against her neck, caressing it with soft licks and kisses.When the pain started to go away, she put a hand over his, guiding it towards her valve. Gently, he begun thrusting in and out of her, careful to not cause her any harm. He already hurted her, but this time he wanted to make it satisfying for both of them. He used his two fingers to rub along her clit and valve lips, making her moan with each thrust. She leaned into his neck and turned her head to capture his lips with her own, kissing him as he added speed to his thrusts. 

"Does it feel good?" he purred into her audio receptor and thrusted hard into her.

"Ahh.. Ooh, yess.. That's it.. Steeljaw.." she moaned and leaned in closer to him, rising her leg over his waist more. 

"Tell me how much you enjoy it.. Scream my name!" he growled as his thrusts became rough and fast, his spike sliding in and out of her faster than before. She felt the head pressing against her gestation chamber opening. Primus, he really was that big??! His entire length was too much for her, and the wet sounds from their connection were just bringing their overload closer and closer with each thrust. She let out moans of pleasure as the overload rushed through her body, making the walls of her valve clench hard on his spike which drove him into his own orgasm, transfluid filling his gestation chamber and valve after the climax. He squeezed her waist tight and let out a passionate howl, his tail wrapping around her trembling frame. The intense pleasure from her nodes made her scream his name through the soft moans. 

"That.. That was amazing" she moaned as he slid out and looked down between her legs. Her valve was a complete mess. It was covered in their combined fluids which ran along her stomach plates as well.

"Yes it was. Ready for more?" he smirked and grabbed her waist with his claws, lifting her up. 

"Ooh yes! Shove it inside, I want you so bad!" she looked at his spike which was already dripping pre transfluid.

"As you wish" he purred and roughly shoved it inside.

She had her legs on each side of Steeljaw's waist and used her hands for support, keeping herself in position for the hard fucking they were about to have. He hugged her waist and leaned forward, kissing her as he begun thrusting inside her. His one hand grabbed her aft and squeezed it hard, making her moan and bit his lower lip, pushing her glossa in his mouth for another fight. He kissed her with passion and moaned in her mouth as he was fucking her hard, going deep inside her valve. She wrapped her hands around his neck. Their optics were closed as the pleasure bacame more intense. Her valve was clenching around his spike as it went in deeper and deeper. His length seemed endless as it was pressing against her ceiling nodes, making her body shiver in pleasure. He pushed her on the berth and kissed her neck, going down and taking one of her breast in his mouth. He flicked his tongue over the nipple and begun sucking it, the sweet taste of her milk made him purr and wag his tail in delight. She moaned at his sweet touch. After a few more powerful thrusts, both came for the second time and screamed each other's name as the overload rushed over them. Panting hard, he looked over her body and noticed many claw marks and scratches. 

"You're mine." he said and kissed her passionately. She returned the kiss and melted into his arms.

That's just the beginning.


End file.
